Fuzzy and slipping away

So lately I am all distracted and overwhelmed. Can't find things, can't remember things, feel tired a lot. And intellectually I know how to combat this...get better sleep, eat better food, exercise....but really what I want is for time to stop and all my committments like work at three different jobs to just freeze for a few days. I want time to myself without coming back to work to find a backlog-o-shit that I have to catch up on. I need to feel motivated when I am rested and rested when I am motivated. Lately these things have not been happening at the same time. And I feel like I am slipping away - like things are getting away from me - or like I am on a train about to cross a big bridge and I can see the huge hole in the bridge, but I can't stop the train and I just know I am going to dive head first into this big abyss on this speeding train....which is terribly morbid, but something is just way off - my focus is fuzzy...I can't keep track and I'm really tired of trying to catch up.

So I make lists - things to do, things I need, things to remember...and then I forget to look at the lists. Or I look at the lists days or weeks later when they are old and outdated and half accomplished or just not relevent anymore. And I wonder why I wasted time on the lists...except that it calmed me, put my jumble of thoughts in order, reminded me what to do, sort of....

I'm missing a rhythm to my days...nothing flows smoothly anymore. Perhaps it's my own attitude, perhaps my karma is whack, maybe my chakras can't breathe or something else like that. Rhythm...that's what's missing, my daily, intuitive rhythm....when and where did I lose that?