Passion

Recently I read a friend's blog where he mentioned having passion for something - (as I have not had time to figure out how to add a link), I will simply copy it here:

"So many people I know tell me that they are so jealous of musicians and artists. Their self proclaimed jealousy comes
from not being able to express themselves in artistic ways I am told. Frankly, I often wonder if they just mean they wish
they had passion for something. When you are passionate about things, your realize sometimes that lots of the world is
not passionate about anything."

Oddly, twice in the last couple of weeks, I have had to sum up my own behavior - explain myself really - and both times I could think of no better way to describe it than to use the word 'passionate.' I found it interesting that the idea of passion cropped up for each of us but in utterly independent ways. He speaks to the universal human condition of creativity..in his case making music. This creative drive or passion could also be described as feeling something in you so strongly that you must express it in some way...again I immediately think of art, music or writing. (As so many of my friends and acquaintances are artists, muscians and writers.)

But in the instances in which I was speaking to my own behavior, I was actually defending or rather describing by way of explanation my "passionate" outpouring on politics. And in formulating this explanation, I realized that I AM a passionate person....not just about the things in which I am interested (although certainly those take precedence....) but in all aspects of life. I am passionate about art, history and visual culture. I seek it out and get lost in it. I am sexually passionate, experimental and energetic. I am passionate in my friendships and in my loyalties, fiercely passionate in fact - and I am passionate in my viewpoint, in my formed opinions. Which brings me to my point...this energy (passion) that I bring to the table in almost all things I have found is something that frightens people. Or rather cautions them to me. So where Nels observed that people lack but wish for passion....I wonder if passion is something most people actually fear.

I do not consider myself radical, but I can be emphatic in my expression. I have found very few people willing to challenge me - or enter into passionate discussion with me. I often wonder after a conversational encounter shuts down if I had toned it down a bit, would the conversation have gone further? Or did I simply wear them out? My enthusiasm for debate can be boundless. Unfortunately, it is rare that I don't feel like I've browbeaten someone (particularly when discussing politics). And I think maybe (if I want to continue to persue intelligent conversation with others) I should modify my approach - dilute it - tone it down, whatever.

And then, I think back to Nels' comments - and I get angry. Why aren't more people passionate in all things? Why do we shy away from exuberant expression and over-the-top enthusiasm? Why do we assume that only artists and muscians can be passionate about something? Why, when challenged, do we not challenge back? Are people really that afraid of their own opinions and convictions? Is a good debate really that exhausting? Or have the far ends of the spectrum become so frighteningly radical, that any show of passion lumps us into the bible-thumping, suicide bombing, abortion-doctor slaying categories that scream their convictions the loudest, but speak for the fewest?

It makes me sad that the moderates and the liberals have become so soft-spoken. It makes me sad that intelligent men and women threw away their votes because they weren't confident enough in the alternative. It makes me sad that we quietly complain amongst ourselves, but that no one seems willing to stand up and say that our country and our government are being run into the ground by a narciscisstic, spoiled, vile, megalomaniac who jeopardizes our freedom and our liberty at every turn. It disgusts me that our so-called democratic system has withered to people blindly voting the party line in an us- versus-them mentality because they are too lazy to face the truth or consider that the alternative may be better, (even if it comes under a different label.) And it makes me sad that we shy away from passion and intensity because we so often see it only in it's radical form....so we do not stop to differentiate passion that is tempered with intelligence.

It was suggested to me this evening that I should run a political campaign..(following a discussion about how Kerry's political team dropped the ball and my opinion that Kerry needed to step up, fire both barrels, call Bush and idiot and explain just how he'd get the job done better.) Truthfully, it was just nice to have a conversation with someone else who shared my opinion and frankly I think I lack the political savvy. But it made me wonder...what good is a passionate conviction if you do nothing with it? Is having and expressing passion a worthless endeavor if it is wasted on frivolous pursuits? Perhaps my frustration stems from not having a focused outlet for my passionate energies....like art or music....more likely it is that I have found very few people who match my intensity.....I think I will ponder this further.....