Ode to my sister

My beautiful, fabulous little sister is getting married in 3 days. I wish her and my new brother much happiness and love and bliss.

We started off at odds - eight years apart. She was not the instant companion I thought she'd be and as she grew older, I outgrew the need for a constant companion. She became my shadow - not always welcome - and I seemed to wear a constant armor of frustration with her. Where I fought tooth and nail for many privileges, it seemed she effortlessly won our parents over much earlier in life. And of course, having had my parents undivided attention for almost nine years, she was not always appreciated by me.

Eventually she stopped trying for my acceptance and did everything she could to be the opposite of me in every way. When I went off to college, I saw her through clearer eyes and embraced having a sister - we grew closer, but only in distance. In truth, I was an only child whose life was overturned by a late arrival...she was in my shadow and later became an only child where she blossomed and grew. She is beautiful and smart and funny. Every day, I wish we lived closer.

It has only been in the last few years that we have become friends and only recently that I realize I could have been a much better older sister - it seemed to me that she never needed me and that I was in constant competition with her - for you see, although older, I was the frailer of the two, in a family that valured toughness, stamina and heartiness. So, by accident, I forgot that I was older - in fact - and spent the better part of our childhood trying to remind everyone of that fact.

Now, I realize that she may have needed me more than I ever knew and that I may have let her down. Maybe one day she will forgive me. In the meantime, I am looking forward to telling her how proud I am to have her as a sister and how proud I am of her when I give my maid of honor speech this weekend. She'll roll her eyes at me because it will probably make me cry - but since I AM the frailer sister, I guess that's okay.