The Nature of Conflict
Conflict is an interference pattern of energies and a primary motivator for change. This I understand fundamentally, but for practical purposes am losing patience. I am daily conflicted about my relationship - how I feel, where it is going, what I should be doing or not doing...I battle time conflict daily - to most frustrating ends...my need for money (to get out of debt) conflicts with my inate desire to just enjoy life - and not take it all so seriously. I think perhaps all this is pointing me toward some great change or crossover - but it is draining while in flux.
Even now, the smallest things, like not taking today off work - because it is the last class period before Spring Break - conflicts with my need to get all the things done that I need to take care of before leaving to go home for my sister's wedding: packing up and dropping off the dogs, packing myself, cleaning out the trunk of my car, garbage, and on and on and on. Instead I am spending 12 hours of my day driving to and from class and teaching 3 classes. Really this is not a crisis - it will all get done - to some degree of stress and frustration, but I can't help think how nice it would be to have a little more cushion when it comes to time.
Then I wonder if it's all necessary - the conflict I mean - like, do I live in a constant state of conflict because that is how I thrive? Or is it simply a consequence of my life and work and low income? This brings me back to the idea that change is on the horizon...something's gotta give...but what will it be?
posted by k at 3:46 PM
2 Comments:
I hope you have fun at the wedding....
That said, I really enjoyed this post. I have thought a lot about conflict in various ways--Sartre and Beauvoir have differing views on it that are really interesting, for instance. My favorite philosopher, C.S. Peirce sort of talks about it as a primary motivator, too (although he uses the more general "doubt" rather than conflict particularly).
The thing that I'm recognizing lately, and more as I get older? In some ways, it's all flux. Therre is always a change on the horizon. All beginnings are also ends...all that cliche stuff that also happens to be the way things seem to be. A central challenge (conflict?!) in my life is adjusting to things such that flux feels more fun.
Thursday, March 09, 2006 10:21:00 AM
mmmm, I find that my flexibility toward change hinges on sleep levels and general physical motivation - williness to embrace it and see it for good versus feeling like it's one more thing piled on top to crush me where I stand. Of course, sometimes it's nice to approach change from the side door - mull it over and come to a productive perspective...but change and conflict are not always synonymous....conflict I think is when you feel at odds all the time with everything - now the question is this: do we feel at odds because we aren't adaptable or because we put ourselves in situations where we are at opposing angles to what's going on rather than in sync with the situation?
Friday, March 24, 2006 7:58:00 PM
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