Someone Will Say I'm In Love

I love where I live - the town is quaint and smallish and nestled along the Fox River. It's pretty all year long and easy to navigate. Everything we need is close at hand. I'm putting down roots here despite the unrest in my life recently. However, I can no longer deny that I have a secret passion for someplace else. I don't look for reasons to go there, but when work takes me there, or social events, I become almost giddy with excitement. My mood is elevated, I am energetic, I smile - because I know I am going to the city for the day, the evening, the weekend. The drive isn't very long, depending on the traffic, but the best part unequivocally is the view of the city from about 10-15 miles out. Day or night it is magnificent. I think about the architects that built it over the years - their vision, creativity, ingenuity. I think about the energy of the city - the culture, museums, music, bars, shopping, food - the lifestyle. I imagine that I live in a beautiful apartment with lots of windows, overlooking the Lake. I'd get rid of my car, ride my bike everywhere - have a cool job, take my dogs to the beach, let my cats out on the fire escapte, go to see art every weekend, listen to live music every night. It's a sweet fantasy. But it makes me smile and I let the energy I feel when I'm there sweep me through a couple of days. I know its a love affair because I get so excited when I am going there and feel so let down when I am leaving. Like a lover the city embraces me, protects me, sets me free - no attachments, no responsibilities - it's all romance. And that of course is the problem or maybe the allure. Because I don't live there everyday, I don't see the grime or difficulties. For me it's an adventure every time. I fill flushed and excited and it's new to me, yet familiar every time because I can't have it, or don't experience it every day. I'm working on loving my home in the same way, with the same awe and wonder. But somehow, I think, there will always be a place in my heart for the city and all the wonders I experience there.