Melancholy Baby

Hmmm, up to this point, my source of melancholy has been the boy, his behavior and my issues with all that. However, he seems to have made a complete turn around and is now thriving. He is in fact functioning as a cooperative, supportive, forward thinking, future aware partner. I would even call him loving. Things really are going along quite nicely.

So why am I so melancholy? I spent Friday reading all day. Saturday I played hooky and instead of getting things done around the house, I watched television all day. Sunday, I read in bed all day. Not at all productive and definitively it was not entirely pleasurable. I was nagged by feelings of guilt for not "getting stuff done." In particular the bills - which I appear to be avoiding. It's exhausting really to have more bills than money coming in - to not be able to even live in a middle class sort of way. Certainly, I do not have a bad life. I was not born in Dharfur or Iran or Iraq. I am not diseased or dying. I am not starving. I have a roof over my head. But I swear there are times when I feel like I am just sinking. Am I making this up because I am a drama junkie? (That does not really seem like my style - but, perhaps...) Or, am I in denial of avoidance of an unpleasant task?

Is it guilt over procrastination? Or guilt over the ridiculous amount of stuff I have, don't use, but can't muster the energy or motivation to sort through and give away...why is it so much easier to bring something new in than it is to get rid of something old or unused? Is parting really such sweet sorrow???

Or, perhaps it is that my schedule is all wonky because I have finally gotten used to the boy's post-holiday schedule and now, rather unannounced, his schedule has changed. In order to continue to spend the time together that we have become accustomed to in the last three months, I have to change my schedule. Except, my schedule is much harder to rearrange in terms of putting in the hours and accommodating both jobs and oh, yes, fulfilling the need for sleep. Thus, I think I am not getting the sleep I need to do the job and therefore experiencing this melancholy. It rather sucks not being able to do all that I want to do because I am too tired to do it. Not enjoying this. What to do?

Stolen from Leila

Hmmm, I pretty much am on board with any of Leila's good ideas. So, I have snaked this from her blog, modified it to me and voila! Fun posting...

Leila said:
"Hiya,
when i have time, i like to surf other people's blogs. it really resembles looking into peoples windows at dusk, just as they've turned their lights on; the fishbowl effect i call it. So while i was peeking in some windows i came across this. And really - any blog with tequila in the name must be okay....so I'm borrowing her idea (which she says she borrowed from somewhere.... and so it goes)"

here i go.

ten things I really liked when I was a teenager that I don't much care for now:

1. brightly colored clothes bordering on, up to and including flourescent
2. baggy, pleated jeans
3. the "IN" crowd
4. wine coolers
5. the time when winter is becoming spring (then: promise of summer; now: weird weather and mud)
6. carnivales & rides
7. gossip
8. running
9. driving the strip
10. talking endlessly on the telephone


ten things I didn't like when I was a teenager that I really like now:

1. wine
2. my sister
3. sushi
4. classical music particularly cello/piano concertos
5. tea
6. foreign films
7. going to bed early, not that I do it much
8. long hot luxurious baths
9. vodka martinis
10. time alone

ten things I've never much cared for and probably never will:

1. green vegetables (lettuce not included)
2. weird meats like lamb, venison, liver
3. too much work and not enough play
4. keeping up with the Joneses'
5. flat shoes
6. trashy/reality t.v.
7. thrash / metal / death rock
8. coffee
9. slasher films (The Scream Trilogy not included)
10. stupid, head-up-their-ass people


ten things I've always liked and probably always will:

1. long walks anywhere
2. my mom
3. sci-fi/fantasy stories & characters
4. reading, reading, reading/books, books, books
5. the movies & the theater
6. lipstick
7. convertibles
8. the ocean, lakes and rivers will do (being in the sun near water is the point here)
9. cooking
10. me


taken from tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com

p.s. feel free to copy!

Let It Snow?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it...rain. Let it rain, let it rain, let it...HAIL?!

Yes folks, on this day, the 27th of March, one full week into Spring, it has blizzard-style snowed, tapered off to a drizzle and is now hailing. All in the span of six hours or so.

This goes beyond global warming to globally fucked up. I'm just sayin'.

p.s. The day ended with 2" of snow covered by freezing rain.

Blogging and Kitty Watching

I've been in bed, blogging away. The boy has kept the dogs downstairs and so the kitties have free reign of the upstairs. They have been frolicking around and chasing each other. Bouncing around, exploring, being nocturnal. But periodically, they leap onto the bed and curl up in little furry kitten balls amongst the billows of the comforter. It's nice to have them out and around me. It feels like my life before the dogs. It's comforting. However, I am tired of sitting in this position and it's 1 AM. Time for slumber I think.

Easter Comes Early

I was looking for this email someone sent me about the date of Easter and how March 22nd is the earliest it can be, so this year, March 23rd is pretty early. The email was also outlining how Easter had not been this early since 1865 or something like that and would not be this early again for several hundred years. I wish I could find the email, because it was actually pretty interesting. Instead I went-a-googling and found several even more informative if slightly more verbose sites on the history of Easter. Rather nifty stuff out there if you are at all into history, religion or the history of religion.

If not, then I hope you will just enjoy my Easter funnies. It's the pasties that make this I think!



"Peep Show"