'Nough Said!

Happy Halloween!

Be Creative!

Have Fun!

But not too much fun!!

Laugh!

And try not to get in too much trouble!!

One Year Later

It's amazing to me that a whole year (and some change has passed) since he quit drinking. It amazes me that although things seem to be better, I still feel very much in the same place - financially especially. And I know that I still have a very long way to go emotionally. Although NICJ continues to surprise me, I still expect the old reactions. I still steel myself and put up the defensive wall in most situations. But I am allowing for the surprise. Sometimes...

What I miss more than anything is intimacy - knowing someone completely and having them know you and trusting that they will not let you down. I'm not so jaded as to think it doesn't exist...but I know I'm not going to feel it again for a long time. I guess for now, I need to continue to try very hard to focus on getting my shit together - money, daily responsibility, some sort of rest and relaxation, and oh, yes, my body. Since I refuse to get middle aged and fat, I better get started controlling the roll around my center. One day at a time right?

Fleet Fingers

I am a pretty good typist. I can type relatively fast without looking at my hands. I can even hold a conversation with someone and type something else entirely without looking at my hands. I could not always do this. Nice to know some skills can be acquired. I have however always reversed the "o" and the "r" in the word "from" and the "o" and the "f" in the word "of." I always catch it right when it happens, but it happens over and over nonetheless. I thought it was just some quirk. However, I have noticed that I do it with other letters now too. Or, I type the wrong letter altogether. It's not type errors like when you don't know where the keys are, or when you don't know how to spell something. It is rather that I have gotten so very fast at typing that I think I actually skip over the keys or come down on the wrong ones. Of course, speed without accuracy is hardly a useful skill. But I find it funny that it seems to be getting worse. Perhaps, it is a metaphor for the life I am living - everything moving a little too fast and occassionally, but with growing frequency, things coming down in the wrong place. It's a good thing I am not in a deep-subject thinking mood tonight or I could chew this one to death. Instead, I am going to let my cat out the window before he pulls my blinds down. I think he does it just to make the blinds snap so he can get my attention.

Ask and you shall receive...

Perhaps mundane, but a place to start, because you asked me to...

So, I have spent the last few years working 60-70 hours a week, usually over 6 days. But this year I dropped one job and am only putting in about 50, so, I now have time to watch television. (This is not rocket science, and may even be considered a sad commentary on the life of a 30-something.) However, I do enjoy a random variety of shows now where before I watched only the Sunday night line-up. In an effort to bring you up to speed, this is how I have been spending my newly free hours each week:

On Sundays, I watch football, unless they air two teams that I couldn't care less about and then I flip around for blah to mildly entertaining movies in which to create some sort of background noise to accompany my wanderings. If it is a day like last Sunday, then the movies are not merely background, but instead all that I can handle on a hangover and 3 hours of sleep. So, I find myself lying in bed all day, dozing off and on to movies I've already watched dozens of times until the new Sunday night line-up begins. At which point I watch Desperate Housewives because I can and Brothers and Sisters because I like Calista Flockhart and Sally Field. I used to watch Grey's Anatomy, but they moved it to Thursdays which causes me much chagrin every week, but I muddle through.

On Mondays, I work 12 hours. So, my trusty DVR records Heroes and What About Brian and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I watch heroes because it's a mildly interesting replacement for Charmed with I loved and which is no longer on and because I will watch anything with comic book hero style characters - call it a weakness, but I love them all. What About Brian is well acted and I actually got into it as a mid-season replacement show last spring or maybe over the summer. Anyway, they brought it back, skipped 6 months forward and I kind of dig it still. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is singularly one of the best written and acted shows on television today. It's brilliant. Absolutely my favorite show to watch for it's sheer comic timing and brilliant cast. Seriously, nothing tops this show. (I'm sure I'll get a dozen arguments about whatever HBO is churning out these days, but I stand by this assessment.)

Tuesdays are light filler - and thank god - can you imagine if I actually watched 3 shows a night or more all 7 days out of the week. I'd be 400 pounds and blind. I do like Smith though. It's a caper/thieves kind of show. But replaced right now by Baseball playoffs. Go Cards!!

Wednesdays I watch Justice - slick lawyer show with little substance that is filmed a little like the CSI shows. Last 2 minutes of every show shows you what really happened. Luckily I also have book club one Wednesday a month or I'd be closer to being that 400 pound loser I mentioned on Tuesdays.

Thursdays I LOVE Grey's Anatomy, but not that it is on Thursdays. I've become used to watching Ugly Betty which airs before it. It's amusing in a comic/sinister/ugly girl with brains saves the day kind of way. It's really too bad men like McDreamy and Finn do not actually exist. (Yes, I am sure there is some sort of feminist law or manifesto that will scold me for that statement - but I don't care. The closet romantic in me watches this shit so I can be entertained and freed from the drudge of daily existence for a brief moment and I'm digging the fantasy of that character.) Six Degrees is also worth watching. And I really like Supernatural. Too many shows on one night unfortunately, but that is where the beauty of DVR comes in. I like Supernatural because it is all testosterone and is a nice replacement of the X-files which has yet to have an equivalent.

On Fridays, I DVR Men In Trees - positively delightful variation on Northern Exposure with quirky characters and nice chemistry and Anne Heche. What's not to like? I found myself grinning like a loon through the last 2 episodes, so there ya go.

Television does not exist on Saturdays...did I mention my fear of becoming a 400 pound shut-in?

Why did I just regale you with my weekly television schedule? Because my friend, my daily existence is rather mind-numbingly boring right now. If it's not some shit with NICJ and money, then it's a hangover at the bar or the dog's pulling their chains out of the ground and running around the neighborhood dragging 10 feet of chain and 3 feet of stake behind them. I spent about 7 hours tonight catching up on all the above shows that I haven't actually watched in 2 weeks. (Why watch in real time when you can fast forward the commercials? and I have been a smidge busy at work.) Anyway, I absolutely enjoyed every minute of those 7 hours. Which I cannot say about any other minutes in my life right now. And everyone can use a little mindfluff now and then.