Irritations
Not wishing to dwell on this, but feel the need to put it down and perhaps get it out of my head...
Irritation: NICJ actively refuses to seperate the recycling from the garbage. It's not that he doesn't know the difference or that it's inconvenient, it's that in his words, "he just doesn't care." Now, I can't make him care about recycling, but to me it's an extension of something I care about and his disregard for that - even blatant disrespect. It's starting to piss me off.
Irritation: I ask him to do a minimal amount around our home. Last Monday I asked him to clean the bathrooms - nothing major, just wipe everything down and sweep. No problem he says (his parents were coming the next day) - it's now almost 10 days later and he still hasn't cleaned the bathrooms. He did however decide last Monday night at 3am to paint one wall of the bathroom...which he has re-done 3x now and still not finished. So instead of clean bathrooms, I've had my downstairs bath un-usable for the last week. I really don't get it.
Irritation: He took money out of the account using the ATM yesterday without telling me. Doesn't matter he's gonna give it back tomorrow. Doesn't matter we both get paid this weekend, it's that he didn't communicate with me first. I hate being blindsided and I've asked him not to do this...over and over again....why is this so difficult to comprehend?
Irritation: He treats our house like a dorm room or a garbage pit. Leaves half-eaten food all around; Doesn't throw away dirty napkins or kleenex; leaves his dirty laundry all over the floor; leaves dirty dishes on the counter; leaves wiskers in the sink - I'm not a maid or his mother.
In general, these are small things. In the grand scheme of the world and the troubles people face, these are less than small - in fact, inconsequential. But, it's my life, my little life and it's these small irritations that add up and make me cranky, and stressed out. And sometimes the nice things he does outweighs this...but most of the time I think, what am I doing? Why am I still here?
posted by k at 7:56 PM
3 Comments:
They aren't small things--they are one big thing: A conscious or unconscious lack of respect for your well-being.
I'm convinced this sort of thing, in general, is sexism, pure and simple. Some compromise is, of course, a good thing--but it sounds like you are more than willing to compromise, and he is more than willing to take you up on *your* side of the compromise.
There are, of course, reasons why you're still there...but still. He needs to step up. Sheesh.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 10:02:00 AM
k
it's good to see you're writing again, my daily dissapointment at your lack o'blogging has left me now all excited that you've written something.
unfortunately, sorry it's not the happiest of motivations for your blogging.
well, what to say?
i seriously don't get it either. and the worst, well i can't decide what the worst is between the perverse effects of the un-doing of housechores, oh let me count the ways
1. it turns nice people like us into nags. god, i f***in hate that.
2. it makes me bitter and resentful. so now im a prissy nagging woman. great
3. it always feels like more and more effort because they put up less and less effort
4. because they don't help, it all gets behind and the downspiral towards pigpen is perpetually emminant if not the veritable living situation.
5. it's just a fucking pain in the ass to do it all. Yes, do it all.
6. and it all makes me just more and more and more snippy, naggy and unlike my charming witty self.
for all these reasons, your sitation sucks.
i hear ya sister.
loud and clear.
and he's doing it again, not participating in a common goal, making the couple work.
simply taking on a seriously non-demanding habit (come on, recycling is throwing out, just in a different bin for cryin' out loud) and considering what is more important for the world and you, doesn't seem to be coming in on his radar screen.
humph
but you know all this. i digres.
what i'm saying is, no recycling one day, and the slippery slope means very shortly (as far as i can interpret it from firsthand experience) NO help with ANYTHING.
am i being pessimistic?
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 3:48:00 PM
Jeff - Thanks! and yeah, that's what it feels like.
Leila - girlfriend, I miss you more than words! kisses!
Thursday, September 14, 2006 3:10:00 PM
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