Okay, seriously...

So, I'm checkin' email, lookin' in on the bank account, watchin' a little tv and my foot gets an itch. So I rub it with my other foot and it just gets worse. But I'm caught up in the show and absent-mindedly I reach down and itch with my fingers. It feels like a bump - maybe a splinter...why that would itch I don't know, but whatever, I'm only half paying attention. Show ends, itch is more annoying, I rub my foot on the corner of the couch, no relief. I scratch with first toes, then fingers, no relief. Finally, I pull my foot up into a half lotus and take a peek at the bottom. Turns out I've been scratching the wrong part of my foot - who can pinpoint through summer callouses - anyway, on the bottom of my foot right in the soft area between the arch and the pad under the toes is an ENORMOUS mosquito bite. Okay - who the hell gets a mosquito bite on the BOTTOM of their foot? Seriously, this thing is the size of my thumb...what kind of mutant, blood-sucking mosquito made it's way into my house and bit the bottom of my foot. I hope I stepped on it - I hope I find it's dead carcass smushed on my floor in the morning. Gross, I know, but satisfying. Thank goodness for hydrocortisone cream....