Adios Pete & Lisa

My very good friend Lisa, my bartending partner for three years now, maybe four and her boyfriend Pete left for Colorado today. He got a job there, they have friends there, she wants to start fresh and have a studio and make art. I used to see her every two weeks when I worked. We'd laugh, catch up, have a few drinks. Over the years, we became quite close, but in a quiet, sneaky kind of way. Unfortunately, over the last six months, I was only able to work three times - that's 3 out of 12 shifts, the last of which Lisa didn't work. So, I effectively missed out on her last six months in town. I did hang out late after working on Saturday, and I went out yesterday and helped her load the moving truck, but I felt terrible on Sunday and opted out of bowling also chose not to go back out last night for beers and pizza - too tired, stuff to do before returning to work today, etc.

There is a part of me that is okay with this...I'm good at long-distance communication, she'll come back to visit, etc. But another part of me recognizes that this situation is yet another symptom of my current life position; that I am increasingly mentally engaged in money issues and the degrading situation of my finances; that my basic personality is suffering-including my ability to give of myself to friends and my compassion for anyone else. I can make excuses about how I need to give myself a break and it's okay to not be everything to everyone all the time...but the truth is, once upon a time, I never would have missed a going away party of a good friend. Maybe I'm growing up, being responsible...that's what I tell myself - and I did work 12 and a half hours today - but I can't help feeling like that part of me that I'm missing may be lost for good.

To Pete & Lisa - may your trip be smooth and filled with wonderous sites; may you find happiness and wealth in your new endeavors; may artwork flow from your fingertips. Peace, my friends until we meet again.