Blindsided...yet again!

I think I am possibly the stupidest person on earth. Otherwise, this crazy-sock-me-in-the-head-financial-blindsiding would not keep happening over and over again. What now, you ask...and here is the newest crisis:

I know (based on the running tally in my head) that I am running low on funds, but do not know how low exactly and must cover a $115.00 check that I wrote yesterday. So, I log on to the online banking and am stunned to find out that I am not just running low, but am rather, completely broke. $12.00 in checking, $15.00 in savings. Now, I realize that I am not a math genius and could very well have forgotten to carry the one somewhere, but I am certain that I should have roughly $150.00 in savings and a little over $200 in checking. So I begin scanning the debits in both categories and notice several ATM withdrawals over the last 2 weeks or so. Hmmmm....I do not use the ATM. I do not pay in cash for anything. I do not carry cash on me. Even when I bartend, I rarely keep any of the cash, instead depositing it immediately. I use my checkcard for everything. So, 6 ATM withdrawals in two weeks totalling over $300.00 is definitely cause for alarm and so I get alarmed.

Cause for these withdrawals #1:
My irresponsible spouse has "borrowed" the card and helped himself to over $300.00 worth of funds without telling me. (Or rather, he told me about a $60.00 withdrawal. That leaves over $250.00 un-confessed "borrowing." So, fuming, I call him at work and ask in a not so pleasant tone if he has been withdrawing from the ATM. I am given a resounding "NO." Nothing except the $60.00 he has already told me about. Uh-huh...

Cause for these withdrawals #2:
One of the many stellar cast of characters that he calls "friend" but that I call drunk/drug addict at the bar has helped themselves to our card number and pin number from his wallet and is regularly making withdrawals.

I immediately change the pin number. And now I am fuming/furious/enraged. And so very, very tired. And despite my wish to believe, I am leaning towards cause #1 as the sadly, more plausible option. I will hold out for further conversation. He claims an ID and something else are missing from his wallet. And the culprit could very well have written down the numbers without ever stealing the cards - making it harder to track them and the transactions. Clever little thief.....

But in the meantime, we are out over $300.00 and I am stuck scrabbling once again to just pay bills. The whole situation once more compounded by the fact that I am making enough to pay these bills, but not enough to ever get ahead of the game and have a little cushion.

Moral of this story - Do not leave your wallet unattended (duh!) Do not write your pin number where it can be found. Do change your pins often. And, the jury is still out on whether or not to open your heart and believe or hide behind the jaded bitch you've become.

Gas On!

So, we've been without gas for a month. One of those astronomical bills from the winter that we just couldn't get paid off. (His parents pitched in and helped us out. - which opens up a whole other set of issues for me like when will I be stable enough to take care of my life? but I digress).

Anyway, we called on Friday and paid with credit over the phone. But the gas can't just be turned back on, they have to schedule an appointment to come light all the pilot lights and clear the lines. An adult over age 18 must be available for this to happen. So, lucky us, we get an appointment today - a mere 3 days later, but technically the next business day. So the lady on the phone is explaining the rules and then says that the technician will be out sometime between 7am....and MIDNIGHT!!!! No, I am not kidding!! A 17-hour window to wait around for the technician...is that the most outstanding/unbelievable crock of crap you've ever heard??? (I know I shouldn't complain - I didn't pay my bill, I should be glad they will provide me with service, yada, yada...) I just still can't believe it...too amazing.

So moral of the story, get on the budget plan so you don't have to wonder why your gas costs $45 a month April-October and $350 a month November-March....

Irritations

Not wishing to dwell on this, but feel the need to put it down and perhaps get it out of my head...

Irritation: NICJ actively refuses to seperate the recycling from the garbage. It's not that he doesn't know the difference or that it's inconvenient, it's that in his words, "he just doesn't care." Now, I can't make him care about recycling, but to me it's an extension of something I care about and his disregard for that - even blatant disrespect. It's starting to piss me off.

Irritation: I ask him to do a minimal amount around our home. Last Monday I asked him to clean the bathrooms - nothing major, just wipe everything down and sweep. No problem he says (his parents were coming the next day) - it's now almost 10 days later and he still hasn't cleaned the bathrooms. He did however decide last Monday night at 3am to paint one wall of the bathroom...which he has re-done 3x now and still not finished. So instead of clean bathrooms, I've had my downstairs bath un-usable for the last week. I really don't get it.

Irritation: He took money out of the account using the ATM yesterday without telling me. Doesn't matter he's gonna give it back tomorrow. Doesn't matter we both get paid this weekend, it's that he didn't communicate with me first. I hate being blindsided and I've asked him not to do this...over and over again....why is this so difficult to comprehend?

Irritation: He treats our house like a dorm room or a garbage pit. Leaves half-eaten food all around; Doesn't throw away dirty napkins or kleenex; leaves his dirty laundry all over the floor; leaves dirty dishes on the counter; leaves wiskers in the sink - I'm not a maid or his mother.

In general, these are small things. In the grand scheme of the world and the troubles people face, these are less than small - in fact, inconsequential. But, it's my life, my little life and it's these small irritations that add up and make me cranky, and stressed out. And sometimes the nice things he does outweighs this...but most of the time I think, what am I doing? Why am I still here?