Seperation Conundrum

I am existing in a strange in-between. Before I got married, I was extremely independent. Easily alone and self-sufficient to the extreme. I had many close friends, but no problem spending a great deal of time alone. After I met my husband, I discovered the joy of sharing everything with someone and of knowing that there was always someone there, even when they weren't physically present. Now we are seperating and spend very little time together, not necessarily by choice, but perhaps by design. What is most difficult now for me (at least tonight) is that he is here, but he is not here. I have come to depend on him, but know that I can not depend on him. It wears me out, forgetting that he is simply not here. I tell myself that I should stop thinking of myself as part of a pair, that I should rearrange my thoughts and remember that I am now alone. That I need to factor this into my daily routine. Except, I am not able to completely commit to this idea because we are not yet completely separate. So he is at times available to me and at others not available. And I am left drifting in-between. What's perhaps even harder is that I no longer remember how I ever managed the fierce independence that I once knew. I became spoiled knowing that I had someone to share both the joys and the hardships with. Now, I don't know what to do with that sharing instinct. It is too strong to direct at even close friends - suddenly for the first time in my life I am needy, clinging. So I endeavor to remember myself or find a nice combination of the old and the new. Happily independent, but perhaps not quite so fierce.