Gift giving

Although I'd like to say this is a uniquely female trait, I know for a fact many men who are quite good at gift giving. They actually take the time to give a gift the other person wants or would be excited about. And they know the person they are buying for well enough to know what is appropriate and what is not. However, there seems to be out there a rather large segment of the male population that is either really stupid or really lazy. Let me clarify - buying the same gift for someone six times is stupidity. (Particularly if it is a gift that never suited the person to begin with.) Spending an extravagant amount of money on something useless or really ugly is stupidity. Men are not colorblind or immune to decorative style. Pretending like you are is laziness. And buying someone something simply to appear to have made an effort is not actually making an effort, but in fact, a passive aggressive form of laziness. It is truly better to not bother than to half-ass the gesture. Instead, take just a few minutes to think about who you are buying for - think about the kinds of clothes they wear or the way they decorate their home. If you've never seen them in gold jewelry, chances are they don't like or wear it. Don't buy it. If you've noticed that they decorate in bold colors, chances are lace is not their style. And consider the expectation of the person you are buying for. Some people have much higher expectations when it comes to receiving gifts. Know this in advance. The higher the expectation, the deeper the disappointment. And if all else fails, simply have a conversation with them before purchasing. I know this requires planning ahead, (gasp!) but it will win you an enormous amount of respect and gratitude. And it will not necessarily spoil a surprise. And if you just can't manage a thoughtful gift, then do something nice like dinner out or gift certificates. But please quit hiding behind stupidity and laziness hoping it will get you some sort of reprieve. Because it not only makes women angry, it's hurtful and that is by far the worse of the two.

On the other hand - women who do not let their wishes be known are setting themselves up for disappointment. It would be wonderful if all men and women could be in loving, intuitive relationships where it was not necessary to spell everything out in detail. However, that is not the case. So ladies, if you want something, make it known. Otherwise, don't be pissy when you don't get it.