Okay, seriously...

So, I'm checkin' email, lookin' in on the bank account, watchin' a little tv and my foot gets an itch. So I rub it with my other foot and it just gets worse. But I'm caught up in the show and absent-mindedly I reach down and itch with my fingers. It feels like a bump - maybe a splinter...why that would itch I don't know, but whatever, I'm only half paying attention. Show ends, itch is more annoying, I rub my foot on the corner of the couch, no relief. I scratch with first toes, then fingers, no relief. Finally, I pull my foot up into a half lotus and take a peek at the bottom. Turns out I've been scratching the wrong part of my foot - who can pinpoint through summer callouses - anyway, on the bottom of my foot right in the soft area between the arch and the pad under the toes is an ENORMOUS mosquito bite. Okay - who the hell gets a mosquito bite on the BOTTOM of their foot? Seriously, this thing is the size of my thumb...what kind of mutant, blood-sucking mosquito made it's way into my house and bit the bottom of my foot. I hope I stepped on it - I hope I find it's dead carcass smushed on my floor in the morning. Gross, I know, but satisfying. Thank goodness for hydrocortisone cream....

Too Funny

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him."

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.

Cognitive characteristics of the individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalist and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas

Think of A Billion

The next time you hear someone in government, or big business, rather casually use a number that includes the word 'billion', think about the actual volume of a 'billion'.

A billion is a very difficult number to comprehend.

One advertising agency did a rather good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases:

* A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
* A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
* A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
* A billion days ago no creature walked the earth on two feet.

*But...a billion dollars lasts only 8 hours and 20 minutes at the rate the government spends it."

It's Fireworks Season

The athletic complex in my burb hosts a minor league baseball team. Whenever they play in town, we get fireworks at the end of the game. I can see the edges of the colors over the treetops to the east. I can definitely hear them...it's fun. It's summertime...it''s baseball :)

Dogs don't much like it though...they spend a good deal of the show barking, just to let me know the show is going on....good thing too, I wouldn't want to miss it.

Adios Pete & Lisa

My very good friend Lisa, my bartending partner for three years now, maybe four and her boyfriend Pete left for Colorado today. He got a job there, they have friends there, she wants to start fresh and have a studio and make art. I used to see her every two weeks when I worked. We'd laugh, catch up, have a few drinks. Over the years, we became quite close, but in a quiet, sneaky kind of way. Unfortunately, over the last six months, I was only able to work three times - that's 3 out of 12 shifts, the last of which Lisa didn't work. So, I effectively missed out on her last six months in town. I did hang out late after working on Saturday, and I went out yesterday and helped her load the moving truck, but I felt terrible on Sunday and opted out of bowling also chose not to go back out last night for beers and pizza - too tired, stuff to do before returning to work today, etc.

There is a part of me that is okay with this...I'm good at long-distance communication, she'll come back to visit, etc. But another part of me recognizes that this situation is yet another symptom of my current life position; that I am increasingly mentally engaged in money issues and the degrading situation of my finances; that my basic personality is suffering-including my ability to give of myself to friends and my compassion for anyone else. I can make excuses about how I need to give myself a break and it's okay to not be everything to everyone all the time...but the truth is, once upon a time, I never would have missed a going away party of a good friend. Maybe I'm growing up, being responsible...that's what I tell myself - and I did work 12 and a half hours today - but I can't help feeling like that part of me that I'm missing may be lost for good.

To Pete & Lisa - may your trip be smooth and filled with wonderous sites; may you find happiness and wealth in your new endeavors; may artwork flow from your fingertips. Peace, my friends until we meet again.