Darkness

Tonight around 9pm, my power went out, blanketing everything in darkness. (It turns out that several blocks lost power, my whole neighborhood, but anyway...) What surprised me is how dark it really was. It is cloudy tonight, so there was no moon to illuminate. The street lamps were out, neighbors' lights...there was not even the glow of the digital clock on the DVD player to light my way. I don't think we ever really think about what darkness is - because we are never in complete darkness - not in the city or even the suburbs. There is always the light of street lamps, businesses, neighbors' porches. Not tonight. It was a little unnerving. I lit a candle - which was practical, but spooky. I was actually glad to have to leave to go to work at 10.

When I left, I noticed many of my neighbors were outside communing. Everyone was in the same boat, so they were socializing about it. Flares and sparklers were lit, kids with flashy lights on there bikes were banging around, small groups were hanging out on each block. I thought it interesting how without power, we have none of the entertainments and diversions that occupy us inside our homes - no tv, DVD, playstation or whatever. No light to read or write by. So we turn to the community, abandoning our solitary units and find diversion in each other. It was a rather illuminating social demonstration (pun intended).

Still, all that darkness was out of place among the houses. Last year I worked a movie in Tennessee for the Stones River National Battlefield. We filmed at night and in the woods. That was the last time I experienced true darkness; the kind of dark night that lets the stars shine brighter because there is nothing manmade to compete with. The darkness was actually comforting, welcome. A return to nature if you will...tonight however was not so comforting. Inconvenient, unsettling, even disturbing, but not comforting. (Even the stars were not shining.)

I have a new fan - an upright tower that has a blue light that glows in the dark when the fan is on. Frankly it's a pretty damn bright little blue light. And I am vaguely annoyed with it when I sleep. Tonight however, I will be happy to see that blue light glow as I doze off and the digital clock on the DVD player too....although I have never been afraid of the dark, a little bit of light feels pretty good.

Shout Out

So I'm busy and crazy working and play lots of phone tag with my friends...a few of which I know read this blog [even if they don't ever comment ;) ] - so I'd like to say hello to them:

Kimber - hey ya! Keep missing you. Going home on Wednesday for the State Fair Horse Show. Kate and Marcus got engaged - March 11th is the date. Jon & Monee got engaged - next August for them. Leila is back in the states until September. I think we'll try to call you from the road next week (she's coming with to Springpatch...) Hello to Jenny, work is fine, I'm still poor and CJ is the same. xo

Brenda - s'up sista! Sorry I missed the birthday bash in July - tons o stuff going on with the book promotion. Was down at Wrigley again today for a sale. Unfortunately had to deal with a busted passenger window, but nothing was stolen, so could have been worse. How's baby-making going? How's the new house? Send pictures! Hello to Nick - hugs and kisses.

Jon & Monee - Congratulations again! Excellent to talk to you both today - I'm sorry we got cut off. Let us know what's going on with wedding plans - good luck. Glad the new curator job is going well chica! Enjoy the rest of your weekend with your cousin and try not to melt in the heat! Miss you guys tons!

Kevin - you owe me lunch! Go Rams!

And to everyone else who tunes in - howdy, doing fine - some days are great, others well, then there are other days. Hope you all are well.

I had the pleasure of spending time with three very good friends today. One in person, the other two via instant message. Truly there is nothing better in life than remembering yourself through your closest friends. The best part is that each friend I know from a different time and place in my life. So they each share with me very different memories and experiences. Our time together today was rejuvenating for me, refreshing, stimulating - I am tired still and searching, but today has invigorated my spirit. These conversations and interactions have reminded me who I am even if just a little bit. In all that has happened in the last year or so, it is me, that defining sense of self that I always had, that I miss the most. Today my friends gave me back a little of that, each in a very different way - and I thank them. Life is tough, shitty even, but today is the kind of day that makes it all seem manageable. Seek out your friends, appreciate them - let them nurture you and nurture them in return - and enjoy the you that they see.

There is something about Sunday that just makes me smile. Perhaps it is the quiet after the storm of Saturday night activities. Perhaps it is the built-in idea of rest. The town where I live has some sort of ordinance that relegates the big chain stores to the fringe of town rather than in the downtown area. So all the little shops and businesses in the downtown are mom and pop stores. None of them open before noon on Sunday. Some don't open at all. I like this feeling that there is more to life than commerce and capitalism. That it's okay not to chase the almighty dollar for just one day. I like the quiet of Sunday morning. On Saturdays, it feels as if the whole world is up and making noise at the crack of dawn. But not Sunday. It's slower on Sunday too, like a lazy summer afternoon. I don't feel bombarded or rushed. I have this line from a song in my head: 'Easy like Sunday morning..." That's it exactly - easy. I can putz around my house watering the plants, watching the cats get trapped in sunbeams, listening to the cicadas and the whir of fans. No phones, no appointments, no deadlines, just peace and the sweetness of life's rhythmn enveloping me. Sunday will always be the perfect day.

Nels sent this - most excellent...

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states finally pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. And of course, 31% higher unwanted pregnancies.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources to find them.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford and Cal Tech.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then us lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Sincerely,
Author Unknown in New California.

Could It Be Worse

When you lose something that you can't replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste..

~Coldplay, Fix You, X & Y