Nearing desperation

I can feel myself slipping into the abyss. I'm not a depressive person, but i keep wondering how much any one person can take before they just disappear. I'm sure it's all very mundane - common even but it matters to me and I'm a little afraid that my breaking point is closer than I want it to be.

Then I realize I haven't eaten or slept well - and I think perhaps I'm blowing it all out of proportion. Everything will be okay if I just keep moving forward. Can forward movement be measured in inches?

Or I realize that despite the fact the the rain today filled my basement with 2 inches of water, I can't really complain because we need the rain so badly. So it's really a good thing.

And then I think about how much worse it really could be. Like finding out this weekend that a friend's baby was stillborn. Or hearing that another friend lost someone in a tragic car crash. Makes my stuff seem petty.

But it's so real to me and so difficult. So I stand at the edge looking over and hope that today isn't the day I discover my breaking point.